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Where We Left Off:
The cat detectives had to solve one of the strangest, weirdest, surrealist mysteries to ever come across our agency’s attention. A piece of cheese appeared in one of the flower beds.
Doemestic Terrorism:
A small glimpse of this case was revealed in the previous case file where a raccoon, Aunt Gail, was spying on some hybrid Jersey devil-deer. One particular night, the deer and devil-deer herds had what appeared to be a party. Perhaps it was not joyous, but rather a heated gathering. Who can say? We had to dig through the clues. What the heck was this gathering all about? Why did the animals appear to be full of anxiety, confusion, and aggression? Maybe it’s hormonal?
The only eyewitness to this gathering—that we know of—is Aunt Gail the raccoon. The raccoons don’t normally come close up to the residence where it would be easy for Ollie and Gus to speak to them through a screen or from the balcony. This means we’ll again have to rely on our informant network plus surveillance footage analysis.
The Marvel-munks family of the Chipmunk Mafia is out of winter hibernation. The X-Munks have been spotted several times scurrying around the junkyard, Bunny Hollow, and The Big Rock.
“Come on, human,” Gus said. “You take too long to get ready.”
Ollie roared up, “But I’m faster than you.” He shot Gus a snide look.
“That’s because you’re not allowed on the ground,” Gus said to his partner. “I don’t want to wear a harness, but she makes me.”
I was happy seeing them excited about being outside. It was great seeing any spark in them after the harsh winter where we stayed inside more than ever before. I do take a long time to get ready for outside adventures—longer than it takes me to get ready for lunch with other humans. I have boots and gaiters to get on; I have my adventure bag; I fill up three containers of birdseed and peanuts; I have to get on my layers including hat, sunglasses, vest with pockets, sunscreen when I remember, and then grab a parasol; I also have to get Gus ready; secure Ollie; put my camera bag on my shoulder and my phone in whichever pocket I can reach. It’s a lot.
We made some loops around the lower parcels of the Winchester-Nabu estate to make feed the critters. The ground is incredibly bumpy from rodent tunnels and various home-related projects. That makes pushing the stroller difficult. It makes Oliver annoyed. The problem there is that Ollie doesn’t like to sit still when he’s in his buggy.
The Chipmunks
We got the Big Rock and waited for chipmunks to arrive with the birds. The ground is getting stranger. Now that part of the yard is soggy for days or weeks when other parts are dry from snow melting or rain.
Oliver grew impatient and Gus was annoyed too, but for a different reason. With all the junk in the back, there was no place for Gus to hop up and sit. He led the way and went to the other side of the building. That brought us to the other weird part where quicksand developed after The Grumpy Old Man began the new rock wall (still not done).
“Pssst. Bub? I heard you were lookin’ for me,” a small voice with deceptively baritone qualities spoke to us from somewhere on our right. All of us turned our gaze to Hugh Jackmunk on the edge of Garter Snake Ridge.
I held Gus back with his leash so he wouldn’t leap up to the chipmunk. He got as close as he was able. “Yeah, we’re looking for you. We some information. There’s a few extra peanuts in it for the munk that delivers.”
Gus was lucky I had some peanuts left after he made that promise to our furry friend. We agreed on the deal and Hugh told us what he knew about the devil-deer.
“It wasn’t a rave or a mating celebration. Sheesh, is that what think of all of us outside animals? That we just eat and mate, eat and mate?” Hugh Jackmunk bounced his head from side to side with each limited option.
“No, of course not,” I said before either cat could answer. “We know our local wildlife communities have rich cultural lives. I follow the Bunny Hollow elections closely each year.”
“Do ya?” The chipmunk hopped up higher and was nearly at my shoulder height. “Well, speaking of politics…”
“Were we?” Ollie said, but was ignored.
Hugh continued talking as he dragged his claws over stone making them sharper at the tips. “What you caught on camera was a protest. The hybrids and the white-tails all agree that what’s going on regarding dismantling laws to preserve what little land they have left is unacceptable. And I happen to agree. I’m a munk of the land through and through.”
Oliver pushed his paws against the front frame of his buggy and lifted himself higher. “So, you’re saying, they wanted us to notice? They wanted to get our attention?”
“Not you specifically,” Hugh said, “but your kind—mostly her kind since they’re the ones gutting everything.”
“I want the national parks and clean water for everyone too.” My voice was quiet with the weight of shame and guilt about humans in general. We’re terrible.
I gave the peanuts as promised and stayed quiet on the walk home.
Case Findings:
What should have been an ordinary, uneventful Monday night in February turned into a raucous event when the white-tailed deer and Jersey devil-deer assembled at the Winchester-Nabu estate to hold a protest. They marched in chaotic patterns to show their disapproval of mankind’s modern destruction of their environment. No one was hurt. Aunt Gail kept her distance and was able to safely return to her family at the Raccoon House.
I didn’t think it was necessary to pass on the information that the animals were protesting in the wrong Washington. They need to be in Washington D.C., not Washington, New Jersey. Not that it matters—there are protests all over the country.
Case Status: Closed
