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Where We Left Off:
The Winchester-Nabu Detective Agency met a red squirrel who is a specialist in engineering critter domiciles for better safety in times when the weather is obliterating homes.
The Cat Creeps:
Allow this case file to take you back to when the weather wasn’t literally incinerating the planet. We travel back in time to May 7, 2024. Oliver Winchester was in his buggy briefly before going to his patio which gave him a close view of bird and chipmunk activity. Burton “Gus” Guster Nabu was outside checking on the critters and the excavation dig, which was being managed by The Grumpy Old Man.
It should go without saying, but I love animals, and hate to see them hurt even if they may not be on the right side of the peace agreements. But really, what is the right side these days? It seems like you can be a horrible person—a convicted person even—and not have a darn thing to worry about. Our local critter criminal organization has come into the spotlight again.
According to my records, there was only one unusual thing that happened on May 7th and it involved Gus. He was sitting quietly while observing the critter activity. When it seems like he isn’t going to get into any trouble, I walk away to distribute the snacks, check the trail cameras, and attempt to take photos. At that specific moment, I was distracted by TWO baby Gorgons approaching the fern garden. I don’t know if they were in a race or intentionally synchronized.
Sure enough, there was a commotion. I heard someone say, “He’s got something!”
One of the voices inside my head gave a frustrated, Come on, man. I was afraid he had snatched a chipmunk so I hurried over with my predictable queries, “Gus? Gus! Come here. What do you have? Okay, fine, take it to Grandma.”
I seem to be the last one he’ll bring prey to because I’m the one that always has to take them away. He’s supposed to be catching certain things per his job description. Chipmunks and squirrels are not on that list which is why I do my best to rescue them. I’ve tried even when Gus wasn’t the culprit.
Gus did take the critter closer to the house and put it in the grass where he laid down. When I saw that it wasn’t on the prohibited list, I considered letting him keep it. It was a Northern Short-Tailed Shrew. They are cute in their own way, but cuteness should not factor into whether an animal is worth saving. In the case of our local rodents, it boils down whether or not they can be destructive. Example: it’s a bad idea to let things live inside your walls if they can chew on wires.
I approached (out of breath) and saw that Gus had his victim close by with his paws and fangs ready. I heard the shrieking shrill and that meant, his victim was likely a shrew, mole, or vole. I haven’t seen a vole in a long time. I think all of them were turned into volepyres and left. In the video, I kept calling the victim a mole, but it was in fact a shrew. No doubts now.
As soon as I got around to editing the videos a couple months later, I made sure to note the proper species. When the ear-splitting, high-pitched screams are slowed down and tweaked through our programs, I was able to decipher some of what the shrew said. He apparently kept yelling at me that he was not a mole. It was taken as a huge insult. Huge!
Victimology
Gus caught this critter in the ivy that covers the Moretti family rock fortress. Cheeks Moretti was the original Boss of Bosses in the Chipmunk Mafia. Even the Blue Jay Gang cooperated with the chipmunks if there was any chance of something unwise getting back to Cheeks. Cheeks retired. I heard he lives near a golf course and is out of the family business.
Who Was the Victim?
Gus interrogated the shrew before I took him away. I got some basic information about him:
- Name: Paolo Blarina
- Association to the Moretti family: longtime family member and former influential capo
- Criminal Record: no arrests or convictions
- Interests: family, dancing, figs, gardening
When interviewed by Gus, Blarina said, “I’m an artist! A poet! A musician! I don’t know anything about the mafia.”
While I was editing the video and images, Oliver entered the office and announced himself—loudly.
“Is it possible Gus got the wrong guy?” I asked Oliver.
“As much as I’d love for my partner to be wrong so I could laud it over him, I doubt it,” Ollie spoke with sincerity. “The cat knows his rodents. If Gus said that’s the guy, it’s the guy.”
I knew we had to talk to Gus and see why he targeted this individual shrew. It could have been Gus just being a cat and having fun; but, something in my gut said there was more to it.
Oliver and I found Gus in his new favorite place—Ollie’s room in a tower that once belonged to Caico, my Himalayan princess. The tower is between one of The Cook’s recliners and the French doors. He gets to be near one of the humans he loves and close to the patio where there’s a lot of critter and stray cat action.
“Are you seriously asking me why I went after Blarina?” Gus was sensitive about the questions. Then he explained (shown in video).
A month earlier, he had come close to catching Blarina in order to question him about something else going on. Paolo gave him the slip and continued doing so any time Gus got close. Meanwhile, he was living in the Moretti fortress indulging in the daily deliveries of seeds and peanuts like the chipmunks and birds. But he was in those stones—untouchable. Gus was a bit embarrassed about failing his mission repeatedly. Therefore, when he got his teeth and claws on Blarina, he was going to make sure he didn’t get away—only I interupted and rescued the shrew.
Case Findings:
Gus captured a Northern Short-Tailed Shrew, Paolo Blarina after months of the shrew slipping through his grasp. For Gus, finally catching him means he can check off his mission as complete even if the shrew is still alive.
Case Status: Closed
